


Better Living Through GMOs

by Pen37



Series: Spider-Bug and her Amazing Friends [1]
Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: GNU Terry Pratchett, Gen, Ladybug has spider powers, also a vague Discworld reference, that’s it, that’s the whole story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-15
Updated: 2019-07-15
Packaged: 2020-06-28 14:23:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,124
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19814131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pen37/pseuds/Pen37
Summary: What if Marinette was already a super hero?





	Better Living Through GMOs

**Author's Note:**

> So my kids started watching Tales of Ladybug and Chat Noir In Netflix. I noticed that Ladybug seems to be modeled on Spiderman.
> 
> That’s when I got the idea for this little story.

When Marinette was sixteen, an anthropomorphic personification of luck offered her power If she would just help fight evil.

Funny thing about that. 

—

“What do you mean, you’re sorta already doing that?” Tikki put her tiny fingerless hands on her hips. Or what Marinette assumed was her hips. (Her build seemed to laugh at every rule about anatomy and proportion Marinette learned from art.)

Marinette shrugged. “About two years ago I was touring an exhibit at the Cité Des Sciences. They were experimenting with spider silk to make cloth. I was bitten by a genetically modified spider. Now I’m genetically modified.”

Off Tikki’s blank look, she sighed. “Blah blah DNA. Blah blah genetic sequencing. I have spider-abilities. I’m spider-adjacent.”

“How did that happen?” Tikki sounded incredulous. 

“Apparently there was sloppy government oversight.” 

“And you fight crime?”

I’ve . . . Well.” Marinette pulled out a sketch pad and pointed to a drawing of a super hero in several different versions of a form-fitting costume. The only common link between the costumes was the stylized spider on it. (She was a fashion nerd. So what if she changed costumes fairly often?)

“You’ve heard of Arachne? That’s me.“

Tikki seemed confused. “No?”

Marinette slumped a little at that. “Yeah, I don’t guess you would.” She muttered. “I mostly just stop muggings. I’m kind of a friendly neighborhood spider.”

“I have been asleep for a long time,” the tiny god said with a consoling pat to Marinette’s hand. (If she was the small god of creation, did that mean there was an Oh God of hangovers just like in her favorite book?). 

“Maybe . . . Maybe this is a good thing.” Tikki continued tentatively. “I’ve never started with an experienced hero right out of the box before. Our enemies won’t be expecting that.”

“I’m not a hero. Not really. . . . Wait, what? Our enemies? What enemies?”

“That’s why you were chosen,” Tikki said. “Whether you accept the Ladybug Miraculous or not, if you fight for the people of . . . Where are we?” She broke off to scratch her head. 

“Paris.”

The little god clapped her hands together in excitement. “I haven’t seen Paris since the seventeenth century!” She gave a full-body shake as if refocusing herself. Then continued. “If you fight for the people of Paris, then we have a common enemy.”

“I guess working together makes sense,” Marinette sighed. “Tell me more about this enemy.”

“I’m afraid I can’t. Until the akuma show up, I just don’t know.” Tikki scratched the back of her head. “Maybe we should work on integrating your powers with the Miraculous.” She stroked her chin and she examined Marinette critically. “How do you feel about a name change?”

“Maybe we could compromise?” Marinette said tentatively. 

—

Adrien hunched his shoulders beneath the vines that had him tied. Just Purrrrrfect! He’d managed to get captured on his very first day as a super hero. He bet Batman never had days like this. 

This was a cat-astrophie! 

At least no one was there to see it. Not even the akuma. It had wrapped him up like a cat in a sack, and left him there. 

He twisted and turned, hoping to loosen the vines. But the more he thrashed, the tighter the vines seemed to hold. Like one of those finger trap puzzles. 

If he didn’t get out, he was going to be one squashed super hero. And then people who found his body would no doubt wonder what a famous model was doing on a rooftop in a skin-tight leather getup with a bell around his neck. 

At least he wouldn’t be around to see the look his father would make over the embarrassment he’d bring to the family name. That was a silver lining! 

Out of the corner of his eye, something moved, causing him to stop his panicked struggles. 

He rolled to get a better look - in time to see a woman in an all-black costume with a ladybug spotted jacket and black hood descend like a spider on a web. 

“You look like you could use a hand.” Now that she was close, he could see that her entire head was swaddled in a black mask with white eye coverings, and that the black hood was lined in ladybug spots. She flipped over and landed on red-soled black sneakers. 

“You must be the new partner my Kwami mentioned.” He smiled in what he hoped was a charming way. But considering that he was getting wrung out like a wet rag, probably just looked pained. “I would apurrrrciate some help.”

She tilted her head to the side. “Wow. Dad jokes. How old are you?”

“I pawsitively shouldn’t say. Secret identity, you know.”

She snorted at that as she bent to cut him free with a pair of tiny scissors that hung from a sewing chatelaine at her waist. “Fair enough, Dad Jokes. I’m Mimic.”

“Chat Noir,” he said, eyeing her scissors. “You sew?”

“I wouldn’t be a decent spider if I didn’t.”

He looked in confusion at her spots. “And here I thought you were a ladybug.”

“Just a Mimic. And Voila!” With a final snip of her scissors, she cut the vines away. She hung the chatelaine at her waist and pulled on the string she’d descended from. A yo-yo returned to her hand. “My Kwami said that we need to find the akuma and purify it.” She headed for the edge of the roof. 

He brushed away the vines as he stood. Ready with a devil-may-care joke. “This smitten kitten is ready to follow you anywhere, My Lady.”

She turned on her heel, pointing her finger into his face. He jumped to avoid having it rammed up his nose. 

“Flirting? Really? You can’t even see my face! I could literally be The Hunchback Of Notre Dame. Or three ferrets standing on each others shoulders.”

“That would make the best story!” Adrien smirked. “What did you do today, Chat Noir? Well, random person, I was rescued by three ferrets in a hood.”

“And another thing:,” she sounded amused. Adrien wished that she wasn’t wearing such a face-concealing mask, so that he could at least see if she was fighting a smile. “Ease up on the ‘My Lady’ thing. You’re one fedora away from mouth-breathing neckbeardsville.”

“I didn’t mean it that way!” He held his hands up in surrender. I just meant that you’ve got ladybug spots, and you’re my new partner. So: my lady.”

“Just keep it professional, Dad Jokes!” She said with an exasperated sigh. 

Without waiting to see if he would follow, she launched the yo-yo. Then promptly tripped into a swing from the roof with a startled ‘eep.’

“I think I’m in love.” With a chuckle, he threw himself of the roof in pursuit.

**Author's Note:**

> Mimic is taken from the Ladybug Mimic Spider, a spider that looks like a ladybug. 
> 
> I don’t see myself writing more of this. Mostly because I suffer from secondhand embarrassment so badly that I can’t stay in the same room as my TV when my kids watch this show. 
> 
> If anyone else wants to write the further adventures of Spiderbug, they’re welcome to. 
> 
> If I were to ever continue this (don’t hold your breath). It would go as follows:
> 
> *Because of the shyness, I’d write her with Spider!Miles’s ability to turn invisible and the ubiquitous spider sense and wall crawling. The rest of the spider and ladybug powers seem to overlap. 
> 
> *mimic is starting university.
> 
> *she’s actually working toward a career in fashion history - hellooooo curating clothing for the Louvre!
> 
> *chat is older (he’s more experienced at life, she’s more experienced as a super hero)
> 
> *adrien is not on her radar beyond one modeling poster she has sandwiched between Audrey Hepburn and Grace Kelly over her sewing machine.
> 
> *all super heros are real (Batman and Iron man)
> 
> *chat gets Thanosed
> 
> *when he comes back, Spiderbug is actually now the same age.
> 
> *cue the romannnnce
> 
> *and they live happily ever after
> 
> *jazz hands*


End file.
